the/women/of/seinfeld

Sandra: A woman who does not feel comfortable talking about the panties her mother laid out for her
Pros: Attractive; Employed; Forward; Likes to get down on the first date; Is absolutely filthy when she talks dirty
Cons: Likes to chit chat for like 20 minutes every time you call; Sensitive; Finds abnormal dirty talk really offensive; Blabbermouth

Sandra: A woman who does not feel comfortable talking about the panties her mother laid out for her

Pros: Attractive; Employed; Forward; Likes to get down on the first date; Is absolutely filthy when she talks dirty

Cons: Likes to chit chat for like 20 minutes every time you call; Sensitive; Finds abnormal dirty talk really offensive; Blabbermouth


Chelsea:  A victim of the Smog Strangler… and Kramer
Pros: Attractive; Bangin’ body; Screams good; Actress whose manager has connections with West German television money; In preliminary talks to star in a mini-series about Eva Braun; Into sexy philosophical questions like what sex with Adolf Hitler would be like
Cons: Dead, killed by the Smog Strangler; Showed interest in Kramer and his screenplay

Chelsea:  A victim of the Smog Strangler… and Kramer

Pros: Attractive; Bangin’ body; Screams good; Actress whose manager has connections with West German television money; In preliminary talks to star in a mini-series about Eva Braun; Into sexy philosophical questions like what sex with Adolf Hitler would be like

Cons: Dead, killed by the Smog Strangler; Showed interest in Kramer and his screenplay


Helene: You know, the woman who played Mr. Sugarman’s secretary in that Three Stooges short where a baby dies and the Stooges are wrongly executed…
Pros: Pretty; Probably has a lot of free time; Has her own place in Los Angeles
Cons: Overly dramatic; Wears too much makeup; Seemingly senile; Hasn’t worked since 1934; Was engaged to Mickey Rooney, but was left at the altar; Way too into Kramer

Helene: You know, the woman who played Mr. Sugarman’s secretary in that Three Stooges short where a baby dies and the Stooges are wrongly executed…

Pros: Pretty; Probably has a lot of free time; Has her own place in Los Angeles

Cons: Overly dramatic; Wears too much makeup; Seemingly senile; Hasn’t worked since 1934; Was engaged to Mickey Rooney, but was left at the altar; Way too into Kramer


Nina: A woman who paints a lot of abstract stuff… including Kramer
Pros: Attractive; Painter; Her father is the Yankee’s accountant and can get free seats in the owner’s box
Cons: Sees something in Kramer; Jealous; Doesn’t like Jerry having fun with anyone but her; Charges $500 for her junky art; Plagiarizes the works of Neil Simon; Thief; Bunko artist

Nina: A woman who paints a lot of abstract stuff… including Kramer

Pros: Attractive; Painter; Her father is the Yankee’s accountant and can get free seats in the owner’s box

Cons: Sees something in Kramer; Jealous; Doesn’t like Jerry having fun with anyone but her; Charges $500 for her junky art; Plagiarizes the works of Neil Simon; Thief; Bunko artist


Angela: The sick lowlife who hits parked cars and just drives off
Pros: Attractive; Fantastic eyes; Great smile; Flirty; Reaches out and touches your arm when she laughs; Enjoys ice cream
Cons: Mentally disturbed; Lousy thug; Belongs in prison; Makes violent and terrifying threats

Angela: The sick lowlife who hits parked cars and just drives off

Pros: Attractive; Fantastic eyes; Great smile; Flirty; Reaches out and touches your arm when she laughs; Enjoys ice cream

Cons: Mentally disturbed; Lousy thug; Belongs in prison; Makes violent and terrifying threats


Robin: A married woman whose adulterous passion was ignited by Elaine’s steamy tale of an affair with the Spanish matador, Eduardo Corrochio
Pros: Attractive; Nice smile; Sweet; Adventurous; Willing to accept the blame for her transgressions
Cons: Married to a man with quite the temper; Takes ‘God bless you’ after a sneeze way too seriously; Adulterer; Slept with George

Robin: A married woman whose adulterous passion was ignited by Elaine’s steamy tale of an affair with the Spanish matador, Eduardo Corrochio

Pros: Attractive; Nice smile; Sweet; Adventurous; Willing to accept the blame for her transgressions

Cons: Married to a man with quite the temper; Takes ‘God bless you’ after a sneeze way too seriously; Adulterer; Slept with George


Eva: A woman whose life was changed by the way Colin O’Brien analyzed the game and identified the major players
Pros: Attractive; Avid reader; Passionate about her beliefs; Willing to die for the man she loves
Cons: White supremacist; Neo-Nazi; Packing heat; Totally awkward

Eva: A woman whose life was changed by the way Colin O’Brien analyzed the game and identified the major players

Pros: Attractive; Avid reader; Passionate about her beliefs; Willing to die for the man she loves

Cons: White supremacist; Neo-Nazi; Packing heat; Totally awkward


Cynthia: A woman who’s fairly picky for someone so desperate
Pros: Really very pretty; Really nice and good body; Good personality; Funny; Bright; Women kill to have her eyebrows; Mellifluous voice timbre
Cons: Bitter; Twisted; Might have an eating disorder; Doesn’t enjoy kitchen sex; The type that doesn’t return phone calls; Dated George

Cynthia: A woman who’s fairly picky for someone so desperate

Pros: Really very pretty; Really nice and good body; Good personality; Funny; Bright; Women kill to have her eyebrows; Mellifluous voice timbre

Cons: Bitter; Twisted; Might have an eating disorder; Doesn’t enjoy kitchen sex; The type that doesn’t return phone calls; Dated George